Going to the airport during the holidays is like a trip to the dentist, minus the mind-altering drugs. Thankfully, the folks that run Bush Intercontinental Airport in Houston want to make your experience even worse: introducing airport karaoke.This holiday season, you can serenade the rest of the tortured souls in the terminal with your sparkling rendition of "Brown Eyed Girl." And no, the brown eyed girl is not supposed to cry when you're through. Or take an invigorating walk down memory lane with "My Way" (always a show stopper). On second thought, the guy wearing the bad hairpiece sitting next to you in 13D will probably fight you for it. Oh, lest we not forget they'll be giving out prizes, so even those of us who can't even hum in tune will be vying for an opportunity to channel their inner diva. Think "American Idol," the audition shows.
It'll be like attending the worst wedding you ever went to -- all over again. But even better, since this time after your eardrums explode, you'll be stuck inside a flying torpedo with 100 of your closest flu-harboring friends.
Flying the friendly skies never sounded sound good.
YOUR 5
- It is a far cry from Southern California in the '70s, but Erik Estrada (aka Officer Francis Llewellyn 'Ponch' Poncherello) from the dreadful TV show CHiPs is patrolling the streets once again -- in Muncie, Indiana.
- Give the gift of family planning this holiday season.
- Headline of the day: "City says pizzeria butchered deer; manager claims misunderstanding." Who ordered the mushroom and venison pizza?
- Assault with a deadly cheeseburger.
- Back in college, we lived in an apartment so disgusting that it gave us ringworm. Looks like going to Chuck E. Cheese can do the same.
First they take away our kiler shampoo bottles and tweezers and then leave us with KARAOKE! What else could they possibly do to drive the traveling suckers...ooops, customers, complewtely insane to the point of whipping out your nine and blasting away at the speakers? Did they all go out and buy stocks in railroads and bus lines? If Karaoke doesn't mean The End Of The World As We Know It, I don't know what would.
ReplyDeleteAnd now, the end is near
LA da de da, la da de dahhhh
Mumble words, and mumble more'
I did it MYYYYYYY WAYYYYYYYYY!
I wonder if they'll be able to find a fat chick wearing a sequin jacket who sings Patsy Cline's Crazy. There's always a fat chick that sings Crazy at karaoke.
ReplyDeleteSounds like a job for On Request Music
ReplyDeletego figure fake singers in a airport named after a fake president
ReplyDeleteYou left out the part about the fat chick who sings Patsy Cline not being able to carry a tune in a bucket.
ReplyDeleteIf you or someone you know have a claim against your insurance company, please call Mitch Toups, attorney. Please call him, he really, REALLY needs some business.
ReplyDeleteHi, I am a failed musician who is unable to have children due to a low sperm count. Please hire my DJ business, ON REQUEST MUSIC because I don't making enough money to pay my trailer note selling scrap aluminum cans.
ReplyDeleteOh, how I do love watching Mr. Toups chasing traffic and and barking up the tree. Mitch, lay off the coke and take care of your child.
ReplyDeleteThanks Matt, I hate Mitch Toups
ReplyDeleteLOL Thanks for the Sunday laugh, Mitch. Watching a once prominent attorney chase his tail with little boy games brings a smile to my face.
ReplyDeleteme too
ReplyDelete